Brown Hair and Black Hair and New Magic People
by Emmi Fireworkz
Summary: Max's best friend has been there for most of his life, and can tell him almost anything. But there's one thing she can't tell him, and one thing he can't tell her. When Max's secret comes out, there's only one left. How long until Alex tells him Jaime's?
1. New Girl

Max's locker slammed. "So, you taking anyone to the dance?"

His best friend shook her head. "Boys' choice, remember? Anyway, not likely. Hey, can I come home with you?"

Max blinked, first wondering if it would be possible to use magic to get dates for the dance, then wondering why Jaime wanted to come home with him. "Uhh… why?"

Jaime sighed. "They're having another spat."

Max didn't need to ask who 'they' were. It was always the same. Jaime's mom and step dad argued constantly. "Oh… sure then."

"Great, thanks." Jaime said in relief. "Anyone you wanna take?"

"Yeah."

"New crush, huh? Gimme a hint."

"Okay. Black hair, grey eyes…"

"Oh, really?" asked Jaime, blushing. She tucked a strand of her own short black hair behind her ear, her grey eyes paying much closer attention now.

"… And she is wearing a gorgeous purple and blue striped top."

Jaime's face fell as she looked at her own bright green t-shirt. "Jessica." She looked down the hall at the most popular girl in their grade's long shiny swinging ponytail. She hid her disappointment with a laugh. "Her?"

Max raised an eyebrow. "And give me one good reason why not."

"Because her older sister is Gigi, who regularly tries to ruin Alex's life?"

"So? I'm just having trouble asking her."

Jaime laughed. "I never thought I'd see the day. What if I, you know, tried asking her for you?" She sounded extremely reluctant, but Max didn't notice.

"Really? Thanks!" He high-fived her.

"By the way, shouldn't the, uh, _surprise_ you set up for Mr. Anders be happening in 3, 2, 1…"

Boom. Paint spattered the doors of Room 429, the art room, and Mr. Anders staggered out, waving his hands blindly. The two friends collapsed against the locker doors laughing. Then Max turned to Jaime. "But seriously, will you?"

Jaime stopped smiling. "Um… sure." She walked over to Jessica and mumbled something Max couldn't hear. Jessica replied, and for a second Jaime's face looked hopeful.

Then her expression changed. She looked depressed. Jaime walked back to Max.

"So?" he asked, not really hopeful.

Jaime slammed her locker door. "She'd love to go with you, but Drew's taking her. However, she would take you up on that for Spring Fling."

"Yes!" Max punched the air.

"Come on, let's go." She wove her way through the crowd so fast Max couldn't believe she wasn't using magic. Then Max shook himself, remembering that Jaime didn't even know wizards existed.

* * *

They took a subway downtown, and raced into the sandwich shop. They started to run upstairs, but Alex called, "Hey Max, where ya going? It's your turn for the counter."

"No it's not, my turn's tomorrow. Today it's your turn."

"Yeah, but I've got a date with Dean. JUSTIN!"

A muffled reply came from upstairs. "No! I did counter yesterday, and besides, I'm doing homework!"

Max, Jaime, and Alex all looked at each other and mouthed silently "Dork."

"I am not a dork!" Justin yelled from upstairs, knowing exactly what they were thinking.

"All right, Max, you're on counter. I'll do it tomorrow. Besides, you owe me."

"You're gonna call that in after six months?" Max yelped.

"Yup. I'm going to get ready." Alex raced up the stairs. Max walked over to the counter, sat down, and took out his Nintendo DS.

"Hey, Max. Is this your brother's fake Harry Potter wand?" Jaime asked from behind of him.

"Yeah, probably." Justin was a Harry Potter maniac, and Alex left his stuff everywhere. It drove both her brothers nuts, Justin because he could never find his things, and Max kept tripping over them.

"Can I try something?"

"Yeah, whatever."

"You say yeah way too much."

"So what?" There was a flash of light from behind him. Max spun around on his chair. "What was that?"

"Your door lit up. I think it's booby-trapped or something!"

"Great. Dad, Alex, Justin, emergency!" Max yelled. He groaned.

"What?" Jaime asked.

There was a scuffle, and all three of them appeared on the spiral stairs.

"Yeah, what?"

"We left the storeroom door unlocked, and –" Max was cut short as Jaime pulled open the door and stepped inside.

"Cool!" she yelled.

The older wizards and their father ran across the room toward Max and Jaime, Jerry already muttering under his breath, "So we'll need to wipe her memory, report this to the council, and change the locks. Jaime, could we step in there with you?"

"Sure, why?" All five of them stepped in the wizard's den.

"Justin, you do the honors." Jerry said gruffly.

Justin pulled out his wand and pointed it at Jaime. "Memoralia remo–"

"Hey wait," Max said. "Why do we have to wipe Jaime's memory?"

Justin looked at him with a "You can't really be that dumb" face. "Because she's mortal, and she'll tell everyone."

"Harper knows."

"Harper is different," Jerry said. "Max, we're talking about a thirteen year old girl who --"

"Is right here, listening and not appreciating being ignored." Jaime finished. "So you're wizards, right? That is so cool! But I won't tell."

"Really?" Justin asked sarcastically.

Jaime gave him a withering look. "I'm not stupid, and I'm not a blabbermouth. If Max didn't tell me, then it has to be a really huge and important secret. Besides, Harper is sixteen. If we're going to be prejudiced about age versus gossiping level, Harper takes the cake."

"Fine, fine." Jerry relented.

"Do you have pocket dimensions?"

Max laughed. "With the whole world of magical opportunities, Jaime goes for pocket dimensions. Yeah, we have them."

"Sweet, can I see?"

"I don't think that's -" Jerry started, but Max was already showing her them. There was a squoosh and a nasty sounding crack, and they were all sucked in.

"Max, what did you do?" Alex yelled.

"I just opened the stupid book!" Max yelled back.

Jaime started cracking up. Max had landed them in a giant white nowhere.

Max scowled. "Oh, shut up."

Then there was a boom, and Jaime started jetting around the room at top speed, actually flying, but with no control. "Max, is this part of the pocket dimension?" she yelled.

"No," Jerry yelled back. "Max, how did the storeroom door get opened?"

"I traced it with a wand I found on the counter." Jaime shouted at him.

"But only wizards can unlock the storeroom." Justin said, confused.

"Max, I think Jaime is a wizard." Jerry said.

"WHAT?!" Both Max and Jaime yelled.

Alex laughed. "Okay, I did not see that one coming."

"Alex, this is serious." Justin scolded. "She needs to have a teacher, and we need to find out where she gets her powers from and get her registered and –"

"Registered? You guys have government or something, a Minister of Magic?"

"Government, yes, Minister of Magic, no." Jerry answered. "And you're one of us now. Where did you get your powers? Is your mom a wizard?"

Jaime looked at the floor. "No. But my dad…" Silence fell: everyone knew what had happened to Jaime's dad. He had died when the fireworks he had been making had accidentally been set off and they were too strong. Three buildings were destroyed and 207 people died.

Jerry broke off the silence. "All right then, I'll teach you. Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday at 3:30. Don't be late."

Jaime's phone rang, and she flipped it open. The sound of screeching filled the room. "The sandwich shop… I guess so… uh-huh, as fast as possible." Jaime hung up "Guess that's my cue to leave."

As she was going out the door, she looked back and smiled slightly, her previous grin having been wiped of by the memory of her father, and her mom's phone call.

"Dude, why don't you ask her out? She's totally into you!" Alex said.

"No she's not!"

Alex smacked her forehead. "Remember Miranda?"

"You mean you destroying my sandwich's chance to be the official sandwich of the Mets so Justin could kiss her?"

"No, my knowing that Miranda wanted to kiss Justin, I still have trouble believing she's human."

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with Miranda, and anyway she broke up with me!"

"Yeah… not surprised. Anyway, Jaime's into you!"

"No way. Forget it, 'Kay? Hey, anyone want to help me with my portal to Mars?"

"What is it with you and Martians?" Alex demanded. "That girl is nuts about you and you're obsessed with the seventh planet in the solar system?"

"Alex, Mars is the fourth planet in the solar system."

"Like I care!" Alex whirled on Justin. "Come on, tell him, isn't it obvious?"

"Um…"

"Oh, that's right, you're pathetic with relationships. Max, she's into you!"

Max looked at her weirdly. "Give it up, Alex."

"Ugh."


	2. Alex the Slug

Okay, I'm feeling sad. Only two reviews (thank you, Scarlet September and shugochara119). I'll ask you once nicely here, and once at the end of the chapter: do I not deserve reviews or something? For anyone who might be curious, Max is my favorite character and I really can't stand it when he acts like an airhead. So he'll be random but not an idiot. P.S. In the last chapter, Max just talks about Martians so much in the show that I couldn't resist adding them in.

The next day, Max walked up, to his locker, his eyes watching Jessica at the other end of the hall. Jaime sighed.

"What?"

"Forget it."

"Well… then will you help me with something? Alex and Justin thought my portal to Mars was weird, and I can't get it to work." Jaime raised an eyebrow.

"Max… You do know that there's no life on Mars, right?"

"Why does everyone think it's so impossible? I mean, we're wizards, what's next?"

Jaime smacked her forehead. "I give up. I officially give up."

"I thought you officially gave up like three years ago when I ate nineteen hotdogs in one sitting."

Jaime groaned. "Don't remind me. That was disgusting…"

"So, you're coming over later, right?"

"Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday at 3:30. Got it."

"Excellent!" Jaime and Max high-fived.

The bell rang, and they both scurried to English for what each of them considered as being pointless and mind numbing torture. Max survived by staring at Jessica, which Jaime noticed. Her smile diminished, and eventually, she took to just gazing at the clock. Within an hour and a half, it was time for lunch. Jaime was not thrilled to see huge banners in the cafeteria advertising both the winter dance and Spring Fling. More continual reminders that Max had a crush on Jessica.

At least it was Friday, and soon the weekend. No Jessica to be found anywhere.

Two hours later, school was out, a solid hour before either of them had to go to the Waverly Sub Station. In the end, they decided to go to the prank store. Apparently Max needed some more something-or-others. Despite Jaime's crush, she really didn't pay that much attention to what he needed for his pranks. She only paid attention to the pranks in general.

Apparently this one was for Justin.

"Max, you know if you rig this wrong, you'll get in huge trouble, be grounded for about a month, and Alex will make fun of you for the rest of your life?" Jaime called through the door of Justin's room. No one was ever allowed to see Max's genius until it was set off.

"I'll be fine!"

"I hope so, because you've got five minutes before wizard lessons!"

Max stuck his head through the door. "You do know Alex doesn't bother to show up half the time?"

Jaime rolled her eyes. "Is that supposed to be, why should I go if Alex isn't?"

"Yes."

"No chance. Come on." She grabbed him by the elbow and started to drag him down the carpeted hallway. "I hope you finished."

"Yep- just ab – ow!"

"Ab-ow or about?" asked Jaime boredly.

"Both. Put me down!" Jaime dropped him. "Ow!"

"You need to pay attention."

They reached the storeroom, Max actually walking this time, and walked in with a minute to spare.

"Are you sure that's the real Max?" said Jerry suspiciously.

"Uh, yeah, why?"

"Because you're on time. No, you're early."

"It's the real me." Max grumbled. "So much for my perfect record." Everyone looked at him, and he added, "Of being late!"

"Figures _Max _would have a perfect record of being late." Justin said.

"All right, never mind. Where's your sister?" Jerry asked. Alex was, as usual, not there.

Max and Jaime looked at each other. "I don't know." They said, lying. Alex was in her room listening to music with Harper, who had not been thrilled by Alex wanting to skip wizard lessons.

"All right Justin, go check her room."

"Why do I have to?"

"Because if I let Max go, he'll just run out the front door. This is the first time he's ever gotten here on time."

Justin walked, without complaining, out the door and up the stairs. There was a _crack!_ and Jaime looked at Max. "Was that… you know?" she mouthed.

Max shook his head.

There was the sound of stomping footsteps, and Justin came in, covered in soot and dragging Alex. Harper, who looked slightly annoyed but not at all surprised, followed this unlikely pair.

"What -" Jerry stopped and shook his head. "I don't want to know."

"If you're going to do a guard spell on your door, do it right!" Justin yelled.

"That's what I said!" Harper said, but it was drowned out in Alex's protests.

"Hey, I need some privacy, don't I?"

"Ugh." Jaime rolled her eyes, and stood up on her chair. "ALL THREE OF YOU SHUT UP! WE ARE HERE FOR A REASON SO CUT IT OUT!"

Everyone looked at her. "Uh… hi." She finished sheepishly.

"Right." Jerry said. "Today, we'll be learning Animorphus Banganshee. It allows you to turn yourself or others, into an animal, and still be able to speak English. Justin, demonstrate on Alex."

Alex, who had been leaning her chair back on two legs with her feet on the desk, sat down abruptly with a _thump!_ "Wait, what?" She cried.

"Animorphus Banganshee!" Justin said, waving his wand and pointing at Alex.

"Well, what am I?" She asked.

Jaime and Max fell out of their seats, gasping with laughter. "You- You're a – a slug!"

"Justin!" Alex screeched. "Turn me back!"

"You know, Alex, I think you actually look better like that." Justin said thoughfully.

"Justin, change her back." Jerry said. Justin waved his wand reluctantly.

"Well, that was fun. Alex makes an awesome slug!" Max cheered. Alex glared at him.

"Just keep laughing, pipsqueak." Max shut up.

"I'm gonna have to go in 5…4…3…2…" Jaime's phone rang, and Jaime sighed. "Right on schedule." She flipped it open. "Yeah, Mom. The sandwich shop… I _told _you, Justin's tutoring me." That was their cover for her visits to the sandwich shop. "Yeah, I'll try harder. Um… uh-huh. Tell Ken to be quiet!" She yelled, referring to her step-father. "I can't hear you… yeah, I'll be nicer… Sure, right away." She snapped her phone shut. "How is it my mom can turn everything I do into a lecture about something?"

Max shrugged, and Jaime started out. A foot from the door, she tripped, and some things flew out of her bag as Harper rushed to help her up. "Are you okay?"

Jaime nodded. "Yeah, but…" she looked around. The contents of her messenger bag were scattered all over the floor. "Oh, man." She scurried around and picked almost everything up, not noticing a purple book that had fallen under the table. "See ya!" She waved over her shoulder, walking out.

Max noticed the purple book. "Hey, Jaime, you left-" It was too late. She had already left the sandwich shop. "Oh well." Then he noticed the lettering on the front.

Jaime's Diary – Keep Out.

"Oh, that looks promising." Alex said, reading over his shoulder. "Go on. I would."

"Yeah, but…"

"Don't you want to know what Jaime's thinking?"

Max thought. Jaime had been acting really weird lately. "Well, I guess so."

He flipped over the first page.


	3. Jaime's Diary

The words were all in pen (black ink) and printed. Max was glad that Jaime had better handwriting – every teacher he had ever had said that his writing gave them headaches. May 29, 2009

_My stomach flips when I'm around him. I feel nervous, and sometimes sick. What's wrong with me? We've known each other forever. This has never happened. But he's funny and nice, and he's just all-around great._

_Am I in love with him?_

_Maybe. I wonder._

_Probably. I think so._

_Yes._

_But I'll look like an idiot if I tell him. He's _definitely_ not into me, which just makes me feel stupider for liking him._

_Why did this even have to happen? Especially to me? There are tons of girls out there he might like to have, and who want to date him! But noooo, I have to join that crowd. As if there weren't enough look-alike drones._

_There has got to be something wrong with me._

The entry was over. Max smiled, triumphant. Jaime had a crush! And if he could find out who it was, she wouldn't be able to tease him anymore about Jessica… He couldn't resist one evil cackle.

Plus, the end of May was around when she had started to be weird.

"Max, honey, are you reading?" Theresa had walked in and was staring in disbelief.

Max shrugged. "Yeah."

Theresa dropped the basket of laundry she had been holding. "This is wonderful! I knew we'd done something right with one of you two! Honey, Max is reading!" She ran out of the room, shouting for Jerry.

Max blinked. "Is it really that… yeah, I guess it is." Well, whatever. If his family wanted to be all weird, who was he to stop them? He had always been the normal one anyway.

He flipped a lot of pages, and came across one from the month before.

November 11, 2009

_I can't believe it. I'm right next to him, and he barely notices me! Well, that's not exactly right – he barely notices that I like him. He's oblivious._

Max paused in his reading and walked out into the living room. "Justin, what does oblivious mean?"

"It means," Justin had a look of great impatience on his face "That the person the adjective is describing-"

"Yeah I'm not looking for a one-way trip to Nerdsville. Cut to the chase!"

Justin glared at him. "I'm hardly surprised that _you_ wouldn't know such a common word. Oblivious means that a person never notices something. Like you when the teacher talks."

"Yeah, well, I was reading this book, and -"

Max was cut off as Justin pretended to fall on the floor in shock. "Alex! Max is actually reading!"

Alex barely turned her head from the television to look at Max and Justin at the bar. "Yeah, Jaime's diary, right?"

"Got that."

"Max, I told you that you shouldn't do that. It could wreck your friendship with Jaime."

"Oh, relax. Jaime's not gonna hate me for this tiny thing."

Justin rolled his eyes. "When I'm right, I am so gonna love saying I told you so."

Max looked at him skeptically and continued reading.

_He's always after some new girl, every two weeks it seems. Sometimes it just really hurts. How can I be in love with him? It just doesn't make sense. I mean, yeah, he's a great friend, but he's insane, and crazy, and wild, and I have to keep an eye on him at all times to make sure he doesn't get sent to the principals' permanently, and he's funny, and cute, and really sweet at times to the girls he likes…_

_Who aren't me._

_I should be happy. I get to spend lots of time with him, something a lot of girls would love to have, but… he'd love them. To him, I'm just… plain old me._

Max stopped. Partially because he was starting to get a headache from so much reading, and partially because he was still a bit confused.

Not just anyone could get Jaime to love him. This guy had to be really awesome, but at the same time… it sounded like he was breaking her heart. Max clenched his fists.

No one messed with Jaime on his watch. No one.

He flipped though about fifteen more pages, looking for names, and couldn't find anything that actually mentioned her crush by name.

Ugh.

He would have to ask Jaime herself.

The next day at the start of school, Max walked up to Jaime's locker, facing the door, barely able to see Jaime's skin through the slots.

"So, who's the crush?"

Jaime froze. It was almost like he knew. She slammed the locker, narrowly missing Max's fingers.

"What are you talking about?" There was a slight hint of fear in her voice that Max didn't notice.

"Um, well…" Max held out her purple diary.

Jaime looked Max in the eyes. "You read my diary?!" She didn't even have to wait for an answer.

Max watched nervously as the anxious look on her face faded and was replaced by fury, wishing he could avoid the storm ahead.

Justin had a perfect right to say I told you so.

_**R & R?**_


	4. Love?

Okay, so I might not know what I'm talking about, but I have had very few reviews for this story. So far, shugochara119 is my best reviewer by far, commenting on every chapter. This chapter is dedicated to them. So let's try to fix the review thing, okay?

Sorry this is so short – I have a problem with stories. I figure out the beginning and the end easily, and then the middle takes absolutely FOREVER. It's extremely annoying, but thank you for bearing with me.

Also, sorry I haven't updated. This has been sitting around on my computer waiting for me to finish it.

Jaime's face grew paler, her lips grew tighter, and Max grew more nervous. Her grip on the locker tightened, and suddenly she stormed off. Max looked at the locker and winced. There were dents where her fingers had been.

_Max. My best friend forever and once-crush. Not anymore._

_I can't believe him. He read my diary! _Jaime quickly leafed through the pages to see if she had once mentioned Max's name. One time it was in the very far corner, at the bottom of the page, about halfway through the composition book. As obscure a place as was possible.

She looked at it, and then prayed he hadn't seen it. _I think I'm in love with Max, _the small passage said.

Jaime looked up and down the hallway, and, finding it empty, pulled out her wand.

"_Throughout the ages_

_Who's seen these pages?_

_The pages they've seen_

_Let them turn green._" Jaime finished her incantation as several pages of the book started to glow green. She flipped frantically through the book, staring down at the sheets of paper.

He hadn't seen his name. Good.

Max was standing there, stunned. He had been braced for a storm of yelling, but she had stiffened and then run off like Cerberus himself was on her tail. What was she so mad about?

He saw a shadow on the ground and looked up. Jessica was standing right next to him. "So, what's up?"

"Jaime hates me and I have no idea why."

Jessica raised an eyebrow. "What did you even do?"

Max winced, not responding. He had been silent for a minute, and Jessica was about to leave, when he said, "I read her diary. I just got curious, and- well- she's been acting weird for a while."

"Weird?" Jessica asked with a laugh. "Honey, love'll do that to a girl."

"I know, she's got a crush on someone, but I don't know _who_."

Jessica shook her head.

"You really don't get it, do you?"

Jaime walked down the hall, winding up sitting on the stairs.

_How could he do that to me? I thought he was my friend, not that I was something to play around with and find out stuff from. I guess not. I'm so utterly stupid. It's unbelievable._

Jaime stood up, not even knowing where she was going to go, then flopped back down. "Who am I kidding?"

"Get what?" Max said.

"She's in love with _you_, genius."

Max blinked. "Well that explains a lot."

"Yes, now go apologize!" Jessica shouted, pushing Max in the direction Jaime had went.

Max stumbled towards the stairs where Jaime sat, stunned. That in itself was something strange – Max was often out of it, but never stunned – but Jaime?

He sat down next to her. "Hey? You okay?"

"Get away from me before I blast you into the next dimension with no way out." She replied coldly, getting up and walking away.

Max gulped. Jaime meant every word.


	5. Uh Oh

Sorry for the extremely short chapter, but I have super-bad writer's block for this story. Hate it.

**But, thank you all my lovely reviewers!**

"Come on Jaime!"

Silence.

"Please?"

Nothing.

"Just one word. Yes, no, maybe so?" Max walked backward facing Jaime, berating her. "Say hi."

"Hi."

"Say low."

"Low."

Max grinned. "Say Max I forgive you."

"No."

"Oh, come on!"

Jaime glared at him before spinning around and heading to the lunchroom.

"Why is it such a big deal?"

Jaime whirled around. "You want to know why it's a big deal?" Her voice was low and dangerous. "It's a big deal because you've been my best friend since for ever. It's a big deal because you invaded my private thoughts. It's a big deal because I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU, GET IT?"

Max flinched. "Um…"

She nearly punched him. "Leave me alone."

As she turned and walked away, a voice from behind him said "Hate to say it, but I told you so!"

It was Justin.

"Shut up."

"Hey, I did!"

"Actually, _I_ told him." Alex said. "I said that Jaime was in love with him, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but I said that if he read her diary he'd get in trouble."

Max didn't even want to respond to that. But he opened his mouth anyway. "I'm always in trouble. I didn't know you meant, like, _trouble _trouble."

"There's a difference?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "Yes, Justin, there's a difference. To us troublemakers, the word trouble means nothing, unless it's something huge. That huge thing would be _trouble_ trouble. It's like the idea of _like_ like."

Justin blinked. "I didn't know you could sound so smart."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

Justin had nothing to reply to this, and Alex didn't feel the need for effort. The silence lasted two full minutes before Justin said "So how do we help Max fix things with Jaime?"


	6. The Scary Alex Plan

**I saw **_**Harriet the Spy: Blog Wars**_**! So Harper finally got her fifteen minutes of fame, didn't she? Well good for Jennifer Stone! Harper's also making an appearance in this chapter. It's going to be awesome! At least, I think so. Let me know what you think in a review! Personally, I like it. And for anyone out there who likes Jaime… I'm sorry, but she's not in this one. For now, this chapter is devoted to plotting. And anyone out there who likes Twilight should notice a couple of things in this chapter. And I didn't mean to offend anyone, but after the prom episode I didn't really expect Alex to like anything mainstream – and Twilight's getting hugely popular. But, I didn't mean to offend anyone. So, have a nice day!**

"Well, since you two screwed up again, I guess it's up to me to fix things as usual." Alex said confidently.

Max and Justin gaped at her. "_We_ screwed up?" Justin said, outraged. "I didn't even do anything! It's Max that-"

"Hey, how was I supposed to know she would freak out over-"

"Well maybe if you thought ahead the way you _never do_-"

"Jaime doesn't normally care about that sort of-"

Alex stiffened, looking at her bickering brothers. Especially Max. That was her job, arguing with Justin! "GUYS!" She yelled. "I'll fix it, okay? Can you two not assign blame?"

"Oh, and how are _you_ supposed to fix it?" Justin scoffed. "You've never fixed a thing in your life, just messed stuff up and waited for me to get you out of it! And you blame other people all the time!"

"Oh yeah? Name one time you've gotten me out of something!" Alex didn't

"…"

"That's what I thought!"

"Hey, just 'cause I don't remember doesn't mean it didn't happen!"

"If you can't prove it I don't believe you!" Alex felt better. She was arguing with Justin over something completely pointless. Oh yeah, that's right!

"HEY! GUYS!" Max yelled. "Pay attention! We need to figure out how to get Jaime not to hate us!"

"Us? Why are you assuming Jaime hates us?" Justin raised an eyebrow.

"Um… what does-"

Justin sighed. "Assuming means guessing and deciding that your guess is reality. The dictionary defines assume as 'to suppose to be the case, without proof' but I think mine will make more sense to your mind."

Max tilted his head one way, then the other in a sideways nodding sort of thing.

Alex wrinkled her nose, considering Justin's definition. "I would have said assuming means just deciding, even if you're wrong. But I guess that works."

Justin rolled his eyes. "We're _still_ getting off track. Anyone have a plan to make Jaime less mad?"

Alex smiled, her evil smile that her brothers had long ago learned not to ask about, "Oh, I do. But it's going to involve a little cooperation on your parts."

The brothers froze, then looked at each other. They gulped in unison. Then they turned and ran in opposite directions, away from Alex. She smirked, grabbing the backs of their shirts and pulling them to her easily.

"Come _on,_" Alex said almost laughingly. "I thought you two had gotten in shape. Now, let's go find Harper. I think she'll be able to help us with the plan."

Max gulped. "Right. The plan. I love the plan."

Alex narrowed her eyes. "Oh, you will. I just need to get the details figured out. That's why we're going to Harper. She's good with details. Now I just…" She waved her wand. With a flash of gold and green light, all three siblings were gone.

Harper shrieked when the three Russo children popped out of the air in her bedroom. Alex surveyed her basement curiously. "Hey, you redecorated! Not bad…"

Harper had indeed redecorated. The walls were covered with decals, and each of the four corners of the room was devoted to one thing or another. One was filled with pottery pieces, as well as a kiln (Justin made a mental note to tell his parents), while another was filled with hairpieces from her various outfits. A third held her bed, and the middle of the room was filled with models and fabrics, as well as a sewing machine and some patterns.

Harper stood up from the last corner, blushing furiously as she yanked a curtain over what appeared to be a shrine to Justin. Alex chuckled.

"I like what you've done with the place, Harper! Way better than that girly stuff you had before!"

"What are you doing here?!" Harper yelped.

Alex grinned evilly. "We need your help with a plan." Harper stared at her for a second, then ran for the door. Waving her wand extremely fast, Alex pointed her wand at the door and it slammed.

"We tried that too," Max said sadly. "But it was no use."

"That reminds me…" Alex said. She waved her wand in a circle, pointed it at her brothers, and then muttered something. A rope popped out of nowhere and wrapped itself around the two boys, tying itself tightly. Alex beamed. "Just a precaution to make sure you won't try to run away again. I love it when spells go right, don't you?"

"I never have them go wrong." Justin said, irritated.

Max squinted his eyes and tilted his head. "I never have them go right. Why do you have a shrine to Justin in your room?"

Harper turned dark red. "That's… uh… that's not Justin! That's Edward Pattinson, from Starlight!"

"He's playing the hero, Robert Cullen." Alex nodded. "Robert falls in love with a vampire girl named Ella!"

"Oh…" Max said.

Alex shot Harper a look that quite clearly said, _You owe me and you know it._ Harper shrugged, nodding thanks.

"I thought you hated mainstream clones." Justin said.

Alex looked at him. "Oh, I do, but if you want to diss something well, you have to know about it. Plus, after Juliet, I figured I might as well be ready for anything. But it was total bogus. The vampires in that were ridiculous. Anyway, team, huddle up!"

She skipped over to Justin and Max, beckoned Harper over, and they all huddled up football-style.

"Are you sure?" Max whispered.

"Positive."

"There's no way that'll work." Justin said scornfully.

"I have to agree with Justin." Harper tacked on.

"Would you listen to me?" Alex hissed. "There's no way it'll fail."

Finally they all stood up. "I have to say, Alex." Justin said. "If this works, I'll be very impressed. I hope you never try to take over the world."

Alex yawned. "Why would I? That's way too much work."


	7. Flammable Silly String and Ol Thuddabuh

**Okay, here it is. Sorry I made you wait so long. Ideas have been slow lately. Have fun with this chapter! Also: Yes, I did have to say "Or otherwise," with my tongue stuck out, and yes, that's what it sounded like. Learn from experience, right? Also, my friend pointed something out: I'm fairly certain that everyone who's read this fic has been pronouncing Jaime's name wrong. It's not Jay-mee, it's Jay-m. No ee sound at the end. Sorry for the confusion; hope it's all right now.**

"Okay, I just need to work out some details with Max, since he'll be in charge of the finale."

Harper and Justin stared at her. "What? _Max?_ Are you _serious?_"

"Max can't even tie his shoes!" Justin said, annoyed.

"I can so! Just take a look!" Max bent down and undid his shoe. Then he fixed it. Fixed the _Velcro._ He looked up, expecting applause. "Huh? Huh?"

Alex face-palmed. Justin rolled his eyes. Harper looked as if she wasn't sure what to say.

"So Max, come over here so we can discuss details." Alex said.

"Sure!' Max walked three steps. Then Justin, still tied up, caught up with him, and the two boys fell over. "Nearly there!" Max did something that looked a bit like the worm, wriggling and twisting towards Alex. "Just a few – more – wiggles!" Alex groaned and pointed her wand at the basement door, which slammed and locked. Then she pointed at the two boys, and the ropes binding them together fell to pieces.

Justin sighed in relief, rubbing his arms where the rope had scratched them because of Max's squirming. Max himself wriggled a few more feet so that he was staring up at Alex from down on the floor. "Okay, woman, talk." He said, quite casually.

Alex looked at him, rolling her eyes. "Get up," she said, offering Max a hand and dragging him to his feet.

"Aw…"

"Okay, so the Silly String needs to correspond with the glow-in-the-dark paint, and Justin can put that on the banner. Do you think you can get the punch on the banner so that the Silly String will-" Alex paused and looked suspiciously at Justin and Harper, then bent to whisper in Max's ear.

Justin and Harper leaned in, trying to hear what they were saying. Alex, noticing, lowered her voice as she said, "So, the Silly String needs to be flammable, and I'll see if I can get some magnesium for the punch." But Justin and Harper heard anyway.

Max nodded.

Justin gulped. "Alex, doesn't magnesium, you know, _blow up_ in water?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "Well, duh. I thought you were the smart one."

"I _am,_" Justin retorted. "I'm not the one trusting Max with Silly String, flammable or otherwise."

Alex snorted. "Who still says or otherwise?"

Max nodded. "Dude, she's right. Or otherwise, or otherwise, or otherwise…" Repeating those two words over and over, he crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. The effect was that the words 'Or otherwise,' wound up being "Ol thuddabuh, ol thuddabuh, ol thuddabuh…"

Harper giggled. "Wow, I missed out on so much not moving in with your family earlier." She cocked her head. "You know, that sounds sort of cool. Ol thuddabuh, ol thuddabuh, ol thuddabuh…" She trailed off into silence, then grabbed a sticky note and wrote _**Dress patterned with words "Ol thuddabuh" on it? Think, **_and stuck the sticky note to a naked mannequin.

"Relax," Alex said to Justin. "There's going to be nothing to worry about."

"Of course there's going to be something to worry about! You're letting Max help!"

"This is important to Max. It's Jaime, Justin."

Justin narrowed his eyes. "Why are you helping Max?" Alex didn't help people. It wasn't… Alex-ish.

Alex put a hand on his shoulder, and her facc suddenly got an expression that looked like she was talking to someone who was either stupid or a toddler. "Because," she said in a patronizing tone, "I like Jaime, and Max will owe me bit-time. Plus, the plan is awesome and I get to tell you two what to do."

Okay, Justin admitted. _That _ was an Alex-ish thing to say. However, he had one thing left to tell her.

"There will be NO flammable Silly String."

"Nah, there will be."

"No. I'm the responsible adult, and I have to act like it. No flammable Silly String."

"Justin…" Alex paused, as if wondering how to explain this to an inferior mind. "I'm the person who made up this plan. It _will _work, trust me."

"But-"

Alex patted his cheek. "Justin, you need to loosen up. It'll be fine."

"But-"

"Shh. But nothing, now shut up."

"Alex, he's right. That could get really dangerous, having flammable Silly String and magnesium in the punch." Harper looked around, and seeing Max had moved to a corner and was thumb-wrestling with himself, continued, "Especially around Max."

"Ugh, _fine!_" Alex said. "But I do want glow-in-the-dark paint on the banner, and that's my final word."

"Oh, that'll be easy." Harper said, happy now that the crisis had been averted. "Justin and I are on the decorating team, and we've already ordered glow-in-the-dark paint. The theme is night sky. Isn't that romantic?"

"Uh, yeah, sure." Alex said. "Romantic, great."

**And… now I'm out of ideas. Fabulous. Just wonderful. On another note, I've started reading One Piece. It's really good! Just go to OneManga, and if there are already One Piece fans reading this, tell me so in a review!**


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